What do I smell like? Gorgeously fucking sexy! How do you go about describing a smell anyway? I suppose, like any recipe, you start off with your list of basic ingredients and then you carefully blend them all together to produce your mouth-watering masterpiece.

Here’s what it says in the book:

First we take a freshly-showered armpit, then we leave it for four or five hours into the day so it gets all warm and musky. Now we add a dash of truffle oil, a dribble of champagne, a cherry and a couple of juicy raisins. Finally we add to this a bit of seaweed, an olive and a small quantity of finest Beluga caviar. Cover with something silky and lacy, marinade for an hour or two, and that’s me: I smell kinda earthy, winey, fruity, beachy and fishy.

Like I said, Gorgeously fucking sexy!